One-Eyed Elf
by L. Shelby
There is no place, no place at all,
For a one-eyed elf, at an elvish ball
His placement is a mystery,
It ruins the careful symmetery
That is the elves' delight
He spoils the lovely sight
And that is why, though sad his case
There simply, simply is no place
For a one-eyed elf.
There is no place, no place you see
For a one-eyed elf, on an elvish spree
His aspect grim and distortive
Disrupts the festivities sportive
And simply spoils the mood
It's really rather rude
And that is why, though sad his case
There simply, simply is no place
For a one-eyed elf.
There is no place, (for life is hard)
For a one-eyed elf, in the elvish guard
For uniform their bold tableau
They never let a difference show
And his uni-orbed facade
Will stand out in their parade
And that is why, though sad his case
There simply, simply is no place
For a one-eyed elf.
There is no place, (they've made a rule)
For a one eyed elf, at an elvish school
His physiognomy so rare
Will doubtless make his classmate stare
And put them in a state
Diaposed to educate
And that is why, though sad his case
There simply, simply is no place
For a one-eyed elf.
This is a very rude song, sung by less-than-polite human and dwarvish children in the Unicorn Valley area. It was inspired by an actual one-eyed elf who works as a river boat captain there.
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